FORGIVE N FORGET

Forgiveness is a funny thing, where by doing it, you not only release the other person from your anger but you also free yourself. Do you realize how much energy you put into keeping an old score unsettled? How it is a constant reminder of how someone did us wrong? How that moment or series of moments keeps playing the scene over and over again in our head, like a movie that never changes? Is this a good use of our time and energy? Who is our anger really affecting? Us or them?
When you don't forgive someone, you take it upon yourself to keep that anger near the surface. You give that anger active power, power that could be directed towards what you do want, not what you don't want. It has been said that whatever you focus on comes back to you into your life, whether the focus be positive or negative.
If you insist on not forgiving, for whatever reason that works for you, are you really telling the universe that you want more anger to manifest itself? Perhaps you never looked at it this way. Perhaps you think your anger is justified because we don't know all of the facts. Perhaps you think that you will look weak and the other person will win, if you forgive them.
A woman had been torched, wrapped in bandages and in pain, when the interviewer asked her if she hated the person who had done this to her? She thought for a split second and responded with a, "No". When asked why not, she said she didn't want that person to have power over her. She didn't want that person constantly in her thoughts. She said she forgave him, not because it helped him, but because to forgive helped her. She need every ounce of energy possible to make a recovery and she wouldn't waste once ounce more on her attacker.
Try it, forgive someone today for what they did to you yesterday, last year, ten years ago, etc. Who feels better? Them or you? Release yourself from the burden of carrying around anger and move forward and focus on what you really want, what we all want; love, understanding and forgiveness for being human.

CHASE LOVE...

Movie after movie people see the romantic scenes and still they don’t get bored of it. Do you think they love the touch, the flirt and they lived happily ever after message in the end. Or do you think it is only because the couples are different, and they have their favorite star cast..? Or we love to see one of both characters chase each other through difficult situations until finally they end up with each other? And we leave the theatre with great smile on our face. NO.. believe it or not it’s only to satisfy their feelings that brings them back again and again to these movies.

Feelings!! What kind of feeling..?? is the next question. Ask yourself, don’t you go to see these movies to satisfy your own imaginations or find the lost world. There were days when you used to be chased, which is again man’s nature until he found you (you were a great treasure) and the chase remains history. The perfect ending of “And they lived everafter” is such a myth that it is the downfall of great relationships. The charm of romance is lost in the everyday routine of life. Gone are the days when he used to appreciate your beauty and now he fights on diapers.

The other day I was fortunate enough to meet one such couple who had lots of charm, romance left in their relationship. Fortunate because they taught me something that I am going to share it with you.
Married for about 28 yrs. (Love Marriage – Of’ course) their love for each other started way back 34 yrs (i.e. 6 yrs. before marriage). The chase between them was very romantic again. Mr. M (as I would call this male) used to go for morning jog where he Mrs F (Female) for the first time and that’s where their eyes met. Later as the days passed they used to see each other and Mr. M was always on opportunity to talk to her but never got one. He used to chase her through her college path, classes (as I said) until one day he was buying bunch of roses for his sister and as he turn around only to find Mrs F in front of her. Not to loose this opportunity he just gave the bunch to her and said “Even these roses are not as beautiful as you”. And that’s where their love story started.

Whenever they used to meet he always used to carry a rose for her with a good message card (Technology drawback). Carefree about the world they used to be with themselves and never missed a chance to appreciate each other for their work, beauty etc. As the time passed they started to know about each other more and better. Obviously both of them had their positive and negative points which they had accepted it but beyond that their chase for each other never ended. They always used to play this unusual “TAG” game which always kept their romance alive. Even after so many years of marriage they haven’t left this game.

They said “dealing exclusively with one mundane situation after another bleeds all the love out of a great relationship. The main way to transfuse lifeblood back into the marriage is to redevelop the chase.” To get the best picture of chase, think about yourself in the kindergarten where the purest form of chase exists. Children’s, to get to know each other well play games and one of the most exciting one is “TAG”. This game allows them to chase each other with great energy and enthusiasm. This game allows them to chase on and on and on looking for the opportunity to catch the other person. When he Tags her, he declares “You are it” and when she Tags him, she declares “You are it”! unlike marriage which has lost its zest.

“It is this game that has kept us together without loosing charm in each other. We are still old romantic couples, who have never let down our fantasies of our younger days.” Like other couples we also have fought we each other but what has always kept us going is the game of TAG which allows us to know each other better and there is something about catching someone and being caught by someone that makes the game always exciting and keep our life going.

Share your suggestions on the same, what do you think should be done to keep your marriage or relationship as interesting as it was still young.